gray

reading all again I get lightheaded and dizzy with memory.

I see it all, over and over again, all of our strife, our accomplishments

I see how much we've changed since we all met each other.

Its different than high school and middle school, where one cant change but now we're adults, we can make choices and see the progression and consequences of our actions.

Relationships found and lost, grades up and down, rooms messy or clean, even hair long and short.

Its too much to keep track of, but after looking at it all again I say we should all be proud of where we are now, for its these changes and experiences that define who and what we are. Regardless of what we are, or who others think we are, be proud. Had anything in the past been different, you would not be who you are right this second. You may not even be reading this had the butterfly effect not taken hold of our existence.

Too much is left to the unknown should we wish to be different. The "what if" scenarios never could play out like in our heads because we're only human, and cant see all the variables.

I find after all this time, burning my past was not a good idea. Memory is so one sided, and I know if the writings were not tossed to the flames, I may relearn some tidbit of realization that could help snap everything back into place.

but memory is so one sided. So black and white.

I'd like to think Im gray now, have been since Santo Spirito.

And im told its noticeable. I hope thats a good thing.