877 cash now

back pain and that feeling of nausea that usaully accompanies too many drinks. a dream of soffocation. a heart attack/ he was too realistic. moneyh troubles and rememberance fo high school where losing u locker combo was the worst thing that could happen to me. nothing is due. it all hits the fan at that time of year. its like these sharkds pla it that way. 56 hour weeks. not a dime. I want to travel again. like that nice old man at the craft fair. to somewhere familiar and confortable just for me. im allowd to be selfish with my own money right?!its my money and i need it now! fucking tv getting the best of me. damn you JG wentworth

So I Can Post It On the New Site

hyena: goes shoopping for turrouble

there was no prompting this time. no reason for my sleep to betray me. Stresses have no cause for more stresses. I change my pattern, adapt to what needs to be adapted to, and still I cant even get a good night's sleep. is it even related to them? or was it a brain fart? Is it a secret desire, kept even from me or is it meant to reassure the tremendous guilt had I not been dreaming?
Amazin what can spoil a day.
it could be a look. or someone's tone.
90 percent of what you say you dont actually say.
so what am I telling people? do they know what Im dreaming about? could they help if they did?
I used to find solace in being able to work all day, it got me away from life. Not even thats cutting it now.

In a cafe

On my plate: napkins, honey packets, blueberries.

To my left: Man, headphones, laptop, window.

To my right: Four women, child, church conversation, neighborhood gossip.

In front of me: Little girl, wheelchair, pigtails, cup of tea.

Behind me: Wooden bench, pictures of Venice, white wall.

Awaiting me: more tea, more blueberries, the road.

you want me to set him straight, as if I am the all seeing all knowing conscience behind his decisions. I cant help you. Im not his master. Not his guardian. Im his friend, like you. and LIKE YOU I never want to see him hurt or be hurt. But he is the only one in control of his life.
I know hes making mistakes. No questions there. But an intervention is not what he needs. He NEEDS to make mistakes. Needs to fuck up his and others lives to the point where he is astonished and appalled. Only after he makes these mistakes will he truely learn anything. THEN your words will have gravity.
Im going to tell him that. I HAVE told him that. My work is peanuts compared to the work he'll do himself.
so im sorry if Im letting you down.
but its his life.