Boon this.

to hell with all of this reborn shit. I know who I am. Im harper and nothing in this world, not people, not food, not drink, not substance, not location can change any of that. im disgusted with myself most of the time ow, I just dont know when to say no. My head swims when drunk, and I love feeling sober and straight far more than the alternatives/. So fuck it all. Im here to find myself while taking artsy fartsy photos here in Italy. Well Im taking the artsy fartsy photos, and I've found myself!

I was stuck in that horrible place between the past and the future, and I shook myself, slapped myself silly until I understood that life needs to be moved. So I brought myself to the present.

No more "HP" no more experimentation, no more "im the coolest shit to enter florence" I hate seeing myself from the third person. I'm always someone I dont recognize, someone I dont think I'd like very much If i ever got a chance to meet him. This persona will negatively effect my dealings with people when I return, and I cant let it. People back home knew me as Harper. and so Harper I shall remain. I dont need to ditch him in favor of being HP, I just need to realize that Harper's life is different now. Like I told her, "if you're not making mistakes, you're not learning anything; so right now, given last year, I feel pretty knowledgeable" I know more now as Harper than I ever could as HP.

I think I just found my gold rubies and emeralds. I'll bring THAT back home for sure.