Swirling blue cocktails

energizer legs streams of hair empty chords blissful bliss mine can't shake it hard pressed hands on cheeks smoky entrails swirling blue cocktails head injuries hiding secret empty memories grasping at the air for something just a little more meaningful burning sage burning pink hair burning burning the way home no more masks no more palaces of ice and stone trees are growing thoughts are dying and I'm not sure that it matters anymore when Carolina is so far down the fear of moving to see the north star and the curves oh the curves and how one day I would have those curves and mix drinks for men that have always loved me for who I wasn't no one knew that no one could count the times drawings on napkins and character sheets made pools of vodka on the bar with grenadine and blue ribbon nostrils the size of wine screws scars left from something once desired and held back to please parents that never once saw the truth in aches and pains my ankles my hand and the cat can't die now when all we have left from the house on the hill is her and daffodil graves for each little memory slowly fading off onto that tree where we sat and talked about rich princes coming to take us away hand to ice bruises hot cocoa and cracked glass a family was until I left in search of something already in front of my face bare feet on cold tile something growing inside with every single step