--

I never had the heart to tell you it never came the month before red thinly poured out of me, you along with it. It disturbed me, and I shut the door, locked it, and tried to throw out the key. I cried for what seeped out of me. The salty bitterness that was everything I feared and hoped for at nineteen. I covered up the stain, pretended it didn't exist once you left. All the while remembering you were the only one I wanted to fuck so hard, the only set of blue eyes to not tangle my hair.
What ifs come to mind every time I'm aggravated. I just end up hitting you.
And sometimes I wish my insides had fallen out that night and that I let you hold me.