Mum says,"Count Your Blessings."

Can't possible type another brain broken down and crushing in the red dot center of another culture rings and bells, whistles sirens on attack under saying all the right things and leaning on bulllllllshit, bullshit. Blah blah blah, no one loves me. blah blah blah, no one cares... The paradox, by yielding, I endure. By giving all, I receive more. Hear that? Hear that?! BY yeilding, I endure. Not by fighting against. By giving my all, I receive more than I could have every wanted. Hear that?!

Let go.

Stop moving and thrashing and swallowing gallons of water, and choking and spitting and getting everything wet, getting everyone all wet. Its just water. You can float. Let yourself float, you won't drown. Atrophy, bloat, rot, eat through sixteen cheesecakes, like, wait, need to go to the store, buy chocolate cheesecake, persuade sister to pay price. Feel really guilty in the thigh area, feel really good in the mouth.

Mouth, like a play on memory, chaps and peels without kisses or tongues. Strange sensations, mouths met genitalia and saliva is saliva, like doorbells ringing, not here, but somewhere close by, while fingers freeze and men make promises and women cry, and men cry while women make promises and leave for other men, cause we all want the blackbird that has the most shiny blue objects. Who might not kill and eat our young. Who might not make us have mutant young to begin with.

Our baby's eyes will fall out upon birth. They'll be too big. The size of their head alone with bring about forceps and scalpels, weilding and screaming like there is no time, he's in the canal and the placenta is taking the life it gave! Massacre on my poor vagina. Freedom like cholic and vomit. Like nights to the pub involve baby carriers. Like nothing can be better than freezing on holidays and winter and easter and summer and all the things that makee someone stop outside the door and walk back in just because the vacuum might be running or the coffee pot still sputtering, and causing wildfires up the walls and down the side of the tub.

Relax. Its just water, you won't drown. Let yourself float.

Take the damn rocks out of your pockets.