what I havent got yet

just for a time, we should all allowed to be the people we want to be. I want to see what it would be like to be lost in the woods. To live in a log cabin by myself or with a dog. To be a professional anything through which opinion matters. I want to try to be in a failing relationship, or a new upcoming one, or an aggresive one, or a dull one. I want all of my friends to hate me and disrespect me., to spit in my path as I go about my day. I want to eat right, work out, be lazy and binge. I want a disease, some life consuming bout of sickness to sap me of all desire. I want cancer. I want euthanizing drugs. I want a family, both one to see me off with cancer, and one to just live happy with. I want a society of innocents; ignorant people sure, but happy. I want to live in the city, in the slums of new york. Skid row and have it feel natural. I want to fly. To swim without fear. to roll in the grass down a hill in summer. to jump in more leaf piles. To break bones, to injure myself. To do dangerous things just for the scars, the stories. Reading books. Reading magazines. Reading newspapers. to be an intricate part of the world and to watch from the side lines. to see the rise and fall of things like the economy, moral values, religious movements and tectonic shifts. Just bring it. All of it. I dare you.